At a dinner with new friends, I shared about the work I do to support victims of sexual assault, revenge porn, and online harrassment. I brought up a horrible child sex abuse scandal involving a bar-mitzvah tutor that happened in my synagogue when I was growing up.
I expected everyone to be shocked.
But instead, I was met with nods of recognition. Everyone had a personal story about how children were harmed or abused at their place of worship or school.
I’m sadly aware of how common child sex abuse is. But this conversation really highlighted just how dramatically organizations and adults in positions of power are failing our kids.
The very places children should go to feel safe and supported, the organizations that exist to help children, are too often where they are abused, hurt, and traumatized.
Schools, faith-based organizations, and community groups must do a better, more rigorous job. They need to implement prevention measures, create clear policies and procedures, and train staff members and children to identify inappropriate behavior while making it easy and safe to report.
Policies alone do not improve child safety in schools and organizations
Many schools, faith-based organizations, and community groups believe they are “covered.” They believe that having a handbook, background checks, or a reporting policy in a binder somewhere is enough.
But policies that are unclear, inconsistently enforced, or never meaningfully discussed do not protect children.
Every organization serving children should have:
- Clear boundaries around adult-child interactions
- Transparent reporting procedures
- Ongoing mandatory training for staff and volunteers
- Rules about communication, transportation, physical contact, and digital interactions
- Defined escalation protocols when concerns arise
- Independent reporting pathways children and parents can access safely
Once these policies are in place, the most important step is that they are practiced and used.
We need to prioritize creating environments where children feel safe and welcome to speak up any time they feel uncomfortable or uncertain. The right policies, paired with consistent training and site-wide implementation, help keep kids safe.
Child safety training should include children
Age-appropriate safety education doesn’t scare children. It gives the language, awareness, and confidence to speak up and reach out when something feels wrong.
Organizations need to train their staff and volunteers. They should also train the children they serve. Children deserve to know that their body belongs to them and they are allowed to say no to adults.
We should explicitly explain to children that they should never be asked to keep secrets about touch, communication, or private interactions.
Kids need to be told (and shown) that their safety is the top priority. We should also teach safety skills and practice when and how to report unsafe or uncomfortable interactions.
Research on child safety education programs shows that children who practice safety skills and boundary-setting are more likely to recognize unsafe situations and seek help.
Prevention can’t be a one-time presentation or training restricted only to adults, staff, or volunteers. Children are safer when training, practice, and age-appropriate conversations are consistently included and normalized.
How can I help you improve child safety in schools, faith-based organizations, and groups?
I am an attorney with over fifteen years of experience protecting, advocating for, and representing victims of sexual misconduct and cyber harassment. I believe everyone has a right to safety, privacy, and peace of mind.
This absolutely includes children.
I’m the mom of two young girls. As they grow up and venture out into the world, I realize just how crucial it is to teach our children about their rights, boundaries, and safety.
I regularly speak to all kinds of teams, groups, and organizations. I teach adults, teens, pre-teens, and children how to stay safe, and I help organizations put better safety policies and procedures in place. Because when we focus on how to identify problematic behavior and how to speak up and share when you see or experience something uncomfortable.
It’s our responsibility to educate the children we serve. We need to equip staff and volunteers so more children feel safe to grow, learn, and connect without the risk of abuse, harassment, or discomfort.
You can click here to learn more about my training, speaking, and education. I’m here to help you create a safer school, faith-based organization, or community group.
