Most of my clients don’t realize they’re on the cusp of entering the sex trade when they first contact my firm or seek the counsel of a sextortion attorney.
They are afraid. They know something is wrong. And they’re trying to decide whether to stay in a so-called “relationship” that feels off. But walking away often comes at a great personal cost.
By the time they reach out to a sextortion attorney who can help, damage may already be done, but there is still help available.
Many of these relationships start as a consensual agreement, often through a sugar dating site or social media app. Then the abuser gradually becomes more coercive and exploitative, manipulating and grooming the young woman. Suddenly, what felt like a partnership is all about power and control.
How Sextortion and Digital Coercion Begin
College-aged women are often the victims of digital abuse and sextortion. Digital coercion starts with promises of easy money, flattery, mentorship, or even romance. It almost always ends with shame, fear, and a devastating loss of control.
Sextortion starts slowly.
The perpetrator builds trust. He asks intimate questions and gathers personal details that feel like connection. But it’s grooming, and every answer gives him more leverage.
He flatters her. Tells her how beautiful she is. He suggests that she could be making money from photos of herself. The “arrangement” might start with simple pictures of her in a bikini, but quickly escalates.
Imagine how much you could make from pictures without a bikini.
And then: Send a video. Then another. Then something more graphic.
At some point, the victim realizes the images are no longer hers. She’s lost control.
What a Sextortion Attorney Wants You to Know
This type of digital abuse follows a predictable pattern. Once the perpetrator has compromising images or videos, he threatens exposure.
I’ll send these to your parents, your school, or post them online unless you do what I say.
The demands escalate sexually, financially, and emotionally and threats grow more graphic and more terrifying. When the victim feels she can’t say no, and she can’t tell anyone. She is isolated, overwhelmed, and deeply ashamed.
Many comply because they feel they have no other option.
This is digital abuse, and it is gender-based violence.
Survivors experience long-term emotional harm. In many cases, they find themselves in the commercial sex trade out of the fear they’re already “too far in” to escape.
Sextortion doesn’t only happen on sugar dating websites. I’ve seen it unfold through Instagram DMs, Snapchat streaks, dating apps, and even within in person relationships. The common thread is the pattern of control, coercion, and escalating demands.
Preventing Sextortion and Protecting Victims
This isn’t a problem that can be solved by punishing one bad actor at a time.
We need to focus on prevention.
Prevention starts with educating young people early and often. As a sextortion attorney, I often teach about the signs of grooming, the realities of sextortion, and the importance of consent and boundaries in digital spaces.
I share tools and support they need to say no, ask for help, and recognize when something isn’t safe.
Parents, schools, athletic departments, and community organizations also have a role to play. Digital abuse thrives in silence and confusion. We must have loud, visible, ongoing conversations about respect, consent, and online safety.
No young person should ever feel trapped in a situation they didn’t choose. And no one should be punished for trusting the wrong person in a world that hasn’t taught her how to spot the danger.
Speak With a Sextortion Lawyer Today
If you believe you’re a victim of sextortion or digital coercion, don’t wait and contact us today. Our sextortion lawyers can help you regain control, protect your privacy, and explore every legal option available.
If you’re interested in educating your group or community about the realities and warning signs of sextortion, click here to learn more about the workshops and teaching we offer.
